and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
