Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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