Me too!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize