i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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