I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
