Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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