theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
