So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize