just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
