I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
