yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
