yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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