Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
