I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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