I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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