I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
