Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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