Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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