This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I need to calm my uterus...
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