I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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