Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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