if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
