at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
