she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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