Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
