I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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