Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
