Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
