apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
