Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
