im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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