He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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