My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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