I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
