went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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