I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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