I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
