so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
