So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
