im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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