Jerry, you need to find god
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
