Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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