this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize