So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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