i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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