If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
