I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
