I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
