everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
