So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
