if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize