Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Found the puke drawer
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
