I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
