NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
