fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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