i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
