Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
