I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
